Your child wants their old photos deleted. Start with the one they showed you.

When your child asks you to delete a photo, start by opening the one they mean. You may remember a lovely afternoon; they may be looking at a picture their classmates are passing around. You need to know what they want changed before deciding how much cleanup there is to do.

It might be one post. It might be years of pictures, or something you wrote in a caption. You can deal with the first one now and work out the rest together.

Give them an answer before giving them a project

If the photo is on your account, tell them what you'll do with it. For example:

I'll take this one down. Are there others you already know about, or shall we deal with this first?

UNICEF's sharenting guidance recommends involving children in reviewing older posts and taking their views seriously. For a younger child who can't understand public sharing yet, the decision still rests with the adults.

With a child who can tell you, asking about a few existing posts gives them something concrete to respond to. Show them the picture and its caption, say who can see it, and ask whether they want it to stay there.

Find out what they want changed

Ask whether the problem is the picture itself, the story you told, or the people who can see it. These lead to different jobs. Deleting a caption won't remove a video someone is sharing at school, and covering a face won't make an upsetting story private.

You also need to agree on what “delete” means. Taking a post off Instagram and deleting every private family copy are separate decisions. If they mean both, discuss both before promising that everything will be gone.

They may want to go through the posts with you. They may prefer to point out the ones they remember and leave the searching to you. Give them that choice instead of making an evening of account administration the price of asking.

Do a first pass you can finish

Start with the posts they have identified, then choose one account or album to check next. For a larger cleanup, keep a private list you can return to:

The guide to finding old photos starts with accounts and text searches. You don't need to upload a clear photograph of your child's face to start looking.

Check what your account's controls actually did

Use the controls on the original post. Removing a tag or hiding a post from your profile can leave the picture available on the uploader's account. An archived post is kept privately; a post in Trash may still be recoverable until its deletion period ends.

The Facebook guide and Instagram guide take you through those controls. Check the particular posts afterwards, including separate copies in Reels, Highlights or albums. If the picture also appears in Google results, that is another place to check once the source has been changed.

Then tell your child what happened. You can be specific without promising that every copy has disappeared:

The two posts on my account are down. I've asked the club to remove the newsletter picture. They haven't replied yet, so I'll check again on Friday.

Keep the unresolved items on your list and follow up when you said you would.

Ask other adults without making your child defend the request

Send the post link and ask for the change. You don't need to repeat the private story or explain why your child is embarrassed.

Please remove this photo/video of our child: [link]. We don't want it posted anymore. Please don't repost or forward it, and let me know when it's down. Thank you.

If you want to mention that your child asked, check with them first. Otherwise, the relative may take the argument straight to the child.

When the same adult keeps posting, use the family-boundary scripts to make the future rule clear. With a school or club, change the photo-consent arrangement as well as asking about the existing picture. Include whoever publishes the newsletter or manages its social accounts, so the request reaches the next upload too.

If contact isn't possible or the person refuses, the removal guide covers platform reporting and relevant legal routes. Australia's eSafety Commissioner also explains contacting uploaders, schools and clubs. A request to another adult is something you can follow through on; their decision isn't something you can promise in advance.

If another child is using the picture to hurt them

Ask where the picture is being shared and whether it is part of an ongoing problem. Removal of your original won't stop screenshots already circulating among classmates. The school may need to address that behaviour as well as help remove particular copies.

Keep the ordinary post links and relevant messages for the report. For sexualised or abusive imagery of a child, use the platform's specialist reporting route without downloading or forwarding the image. eSafety's cyberbullying guidance explains how to support a child; its formal reporting scheme applies in Australia.

Decide what happens with the next photograph

Agree on the rule for the next post while the old ones are being dealt with. It could be no public pictures, asking before each upload, or choosing a picture together. Include captions, videos and forwarding to other people in that conversation.

For a request about one picture, show the version you intend to share and name the audience. Permission to send it to a grandparent doesn't tell you whether it can go on a public Instagram account.

A face cover can help with a picture they are happy to share without being recognisable. It doesn't answer a request to keep the whole moment private. If they want the video gone, changing the cover leaves you with the same unanswered request.